She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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