We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
how do you play pong handcuffed?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize