Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
