I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
