i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize