Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
