Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
