Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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