Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
