you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
