but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
