Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
