I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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