Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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