Do you still have your period?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
