Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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