Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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