I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
