Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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