Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
