I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
