you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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