If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
