I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
