Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
