my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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