I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
