I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
