im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
plz talk dirty to me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
