I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
