I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
