I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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