last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
