Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize