i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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