Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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