he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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