I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
