Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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