We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
