he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize