I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
