Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
