is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I came so hard my ears popped.
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