My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
