for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
