what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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