Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
