This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
