I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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