when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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