I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
