He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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