I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
