as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
