im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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