you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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