Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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