i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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