That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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