Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
