With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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