just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we're making bets on your personal life
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
