when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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