Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
