that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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