She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
