Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
