ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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