i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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