got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
